This is a special trip to town, the internet has been out for so long that I am going past 9 pages of typing that hasn't been posted. Last night I listened to a Sean Watkins cd and tried to learn to play 'Let It Fall' because that is the song I usually play on my ipod after difficult days. I have no delusions of playing that well, but its relaxing. Has anyone heard the latest album that Watkins released??? I know there are some Creek Freaks out there like me. I'm going to try to post by the week so that there is some organization to this backlog. I've just copied emails onto my flash drive so that I can read them when I get home tonight, I promise I will work on catching up with my bludgeoning inbox. Today I bought a new mattress, my old one is fine except that it is way too thin to be comfortable. This week has been a huge shift in temperatures, an increase of almost 10 degrees in the morning. Mom & Dad, Thanks for the news about the escalation of the conflict in Israel, those are the kinds of things I miss out on not having Internet or television at my disposal. This photo is from yesterday, keep reading to get the whole story... I cropped myself out of this one because me being in the picture ruined it.


From Yesterday -

What adjective is appropriate when a bad day gets worse? Yesterday after fighting a few battles with my register class I was talking with some learners from another class, they were asking how long I will be in Namibia (this is a weekly question from different individuals) so I explained that I will teach this year and next then go home. They were disappointed to hear that (makes me feel good) so I reasoned that they would finish their grade 9 this year, pass grade 10 next year and then we would both leave Coblenz and it was ok. Then I told them about how I could leave any time I wanted to. One phone call to Windhoek and I would be on a plane within the week. They were surprised to hear how quickly I could be gone if I so desired, and though I've never seriously considered ET'ing (early termination of service) the behavior of my class this week makes that option seem much nicer than I expected. I have dealt with more disrespect, more back talk than I ever imagined I would put up with. I always fancied myself a tough person that didn't tolerate that crap from kids, but I've found myself in a situation with no good way to punish kids for their missteps. As much as I am used to corporal punishment I am not comfortable with it. I have no delusions of being able to stop other teachers from beating the kids, but I have to struggle to find another way to deal with my class. The day I give up that struggle is the day I'll seriously consider ET'ing because then I know that I have changed in a way that I am not comfortable with. No matter how bad things get with my class I will still try to shield them from beatings by being present when the punishment might be delivered and exhaust every other option for punishment that might still save these kids from their own ignorance that threatens to destroy their lives before they reach any noticeable level of maturity.
The most dangerous thing about corporal punishment is the dehumanizing effect it has on both participants. Even as a bystander, I feel myself hardening, becoming callous. Just as I finished the last paragraph I heard a small girl outside the library crying. Kids crying is a daily occurrence so I usually ignore it, but this time I sensed that I had to go investigate. I stepped outside saw a small girl sitting by herself crying, not the kind of crying that is begging for attention, not the kind of crying from a broken bone, just pure innocent tears. I knew she wouldn't understand any comforting words, so I just got down to eye level and placed my hand on her back. Soon the crying subsided and I realized that this is the younger sister of two girls that spend a lot of time in the library. Metuurunga, her older sister in grade 4, came around the corner with a friend and joined me in comforting her sister and relayed that a grade 4 boy had hit the younger one with a stick. Next I decided that the easiest way to get a smile back on the tear stained face was to bust out my camera. I quickly fetched the camera from the library and set up a chair so could use the timer and be in the picture with them. After a few more words they left for dinner and I returned to the library to write this a shed some tears of my own. Tears because I don't like the way I can ignore a child crying, tears because that boy learned to beat others by watching his teacher, tears because thats what you do when you feel powerless.