July rantings

July 21 - During training we had sessions on coping strategies, even during staging in Philadelphia we discussed the topic in great length. Clearly Peace Corps realizes that many people terminate their service early (ET) so we have to talk about how we're going do deal with discouragement and frustration. My coping strategy? Usually I try not to think about whatever has gone wrong and focus back towards the positive events that accompanied the negative. So that is what I intend to do now.

A school should be an incubator for young minds to develop, to question, to reason and discover the world as told by textbooks. This school is more of a gauntlet. Instead of a conducive environment where learning is the de facto activity, kids here have to fight for the chance to learn. But what is the root of the problem? What needs to happen to make the school more successful? Its not money. We don't have enough paper, the kids don't have pens, the classes don't have enough desks and chairs but that is not the problem. (Side note: per the evening news...a school in Namibia recently received a donation of a copy machine...the problem? They don't have electricity) Things can get done given enough time and a measure of initiative; case in point: the lights at the school have been in dismal condition all year until this weekend when they were all fixed. Why did they finally get fixed? Someone made the calls and got it done, the government spends enough on the schools that when things are arranged they will get done eventually. Kids don't have pens but they are adept at sharing what they have, besides that they have pocket money after every out-weekend that could buy a pen but an extra cake during break is always the priority. Desks and chairs would be nice but you can sit in the window sill and enough kids forget to bring their books to class that there are enough desks for the ones who use them. Can I add that having natural light in the classroom is wonderful, forget that its essential because its just nice to have sunlight in the classroom. Back on point, the problem isn't money. All the teachers got a significant raise this year. The unfortunate thing is that everyone is too short-sighted to realize that instead of a raise for everyone (even the unqualified teachers) that money could have been spent to hire an extra teacher at the school and reduce everyone's workload. But Nantu, the teacher's union, isn't concerned with workload because no one does their work anyway... now I'm getting ahead of myself. The negotiations for higher salaries and more benefits are nice, but you also have to consider that teachers are already significantly better off than the average citizen of Namibia. Last year the staff took a trip to Victoria Falls, this year they want to go to Cape Town. Several of the teachers have satellite television at a monthly cost around $70US. And they complain about contributing $5US to have a farewell party for a retiring cleaner who has served the school for more than a decade. They complain about contributing to anything however small the contribution or significant the occasion. These that are clearly the middle class of Namibia have become stingy. Where did we start here? Searching for the root of this incubator turned gauntlet. Its not apartheid. This is where I probably get myself in trouble, but the difficulties we face now cannot be blamed on the old system even if the residue is still apparent from time to time. Some schools do better than others including the formally white schools whose student populations are now predominantly black. Then lets blame the Germans and the atrocities they committed a century ago. But really, what will reparations do? And if you ask me it should be alimony, not reparations. What about the fact that many of the teachers send their young children to go to school in towns and stay in the hostels there. If this school isn't good enough for the teachers' kids, is it good enough for the teachers? Whose fault is that? This is the question that continues to plague us. What else could be the source of the languishing school and its undereducated graduates. Lets blame English. Why not? Language is a magnificent challenge facing all of the learners. They can barely speak it, struggle to read it and all of their tests are written in it. Its a feat to develop questions that test knowledge of science and not proficiency in English. Forget schools in towns for now, some rural schools have achieved far greater levels of English than this one. At what cost? Not having a library, although the layout of our makes the television the focal point. Not having computers. Having an ethnically diverse staff, especially management, that makes English the common linguistic denominator for teachers and learners alike. Our fall man eludes us, though by accusing so many our mediocrity, no underachievement, already seems somehow justified. Forget about it. Who cares who's to blame. Lets just try to make the school better. Why not just take a bunch of pills and hope one of them does the trick? No we need a diagnosis. A school is floundering and we must know why. Let's forget about improvement and uncover the cancer that's eating it away from the inside. The answer is already evident. Though I don't fancy myself a novelist, my writing style today reveals that I have been reading Salman Rushdie. There's your answer. Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children which I recommend along with everything else he wrote. How is that the answer you ask? Its not the obvious one, it would help if the kids (or the teachers) could read a real book in English but lets be honest, how many school age kids read a lot these days? The problem is twofold, first let me point out that I was referred to this book by a friend who had already read it. A major part of my education in its formal and now perpetual form is the presence of other people that are learning. If somebody else has read Midnight's Children then I want to also. You could call it competition, maybe its just encouragement, but one thing I learned in college is that even if you're not studying with another person, it helps to study next to someone else who is studying. The proportion of kids in grade 9 right now that will succeed academically is so low that every borderline student is dragged into the abyss of failure. And not dragged as much as they see the well travelled road of not doing homework and not attending studies as more agreeable than the uncertain bridge out of Coblenz to the 11th grade. We finally have a excuse for the lackluster exam results, lets pack it up and braai some meat and drink some beers. Oh, this monster has two heads. And we've only vanquished the lesser head that feeds off the regurgitated delicacies the premier head enjoys. I took one business class in college and learned that people are not motivated by money. Back on the money won't fix the problem bit right? Actually yes, the teachers got a raise and for a week vowed to work harder. You can guess what happened during the next week. Teachers bellyache for a raise to help pay off the debts they have incurred and never seem to find time to improve the level of their instruction. Hold on... you said they have debt, the debt is the problem. If these companies from South Africa wouldn't offer such nice stuff with easy credit then we wouldn't have to worry about the collection agency calling and we would teach better. Eerily reminiscent of the situation a century ago, but not convincing. The absenteeism of teachers is the single biggest problem facing this school. What about Rushdie? We're getting there, just hang on a minute. And the issue isn't teachers missing entire days of school, although that is a problem, its teachers that don't teach during the periods allotted to their subject. Teachers at school will leave kids in the class with only a threat that they'd better stay inside and quiet or be punished (read: beaten). How can anyone expect children to learn without structure and guidance? Of course they are dependent on their teacher, these are kids we're talking about. Some of them can legally buy alcohol and vote, but lets be realistic. Kids want to have fun and will only learn if it is fun or you make them. Both scenarios are necessary and important. What isn't surprising is that left to their own devices kids get bored and cause trouble, I'm not talking Lord of the Flies but we've all got a destructive streak that finds its way out in idleness. During class time teachers hold formal meetings, hang around the office, stand outside, do puzzles in magazines, and any number of other things completely inappropriate for a professional teacher. Everybody has bad days, we're all tired sometimes; yet, there is a difference between an anomaly and a habit. When school is from 7am to 1pm how hard is it to take an hour for lunch and return for afternoon study time? I wish the teachers would because the students have a hard time understanding why study time is so important when their teachers don't place any value on the endeavour. A crusade to get teachers to sit with their register classes during afternoon studies would wonderful and misguided though. If a teacher isn't willing to put in full effort during school hours, nothing after lunch has a chance of getting enough attention. And attention is what kids need, they crave it and get in trouble just to bask in the limelight. So coming back to Rushdie, if our gauntlet was an incubator kids would learn to write (among other things) well enough to develop their own style that can be influenced by a master like Rushdie. When teachers are at work and working, their pupils emulate them in their attitude toward work and academically. A learner can synthesize the variety of influences from different teachers and come out with a blend that is unique and mature.

Now what about that coping strategy? Focus on the positive things, right, I've got my rant out there and now need to look towards more encouraging happenings. I really like some of the kids in grade 9. In general the classes in the lower grades lack the critical mass of serious students but looking at the top students in grade 9, once they are all together in the same class they could do very well. I can count up at least 20 that show a lot of potential and should have no trouble passing their grade 10 exams. The grade 7 kids are going to go on an educational tour during the coming term break. I will accompany them as we travel a couple thousand kilometers to see Windhoek, the Hardap Dam (largest in Namibia), and the Fish River Canyon (second largest in the world?) in the span of a week. I'm sure the kids will get annoying more than once and I'll be glad when the tour is over but I am looking forward the experience. I haven't been south of Windhoek yet so I'll get to see the other half of Namibia and the best thing is that another teacher did nearly all the work to organize the tour. I helped write some letters and encourage continued progress in arranging transportation and accommodation but none of the essential phone calls or decision making came from my side. I've also got one girl doing some work for me to earn the money to go on the tour. The kids have to contribute $300 to pay for the bus and the food for the week. That is twice the amount of school fees for the year. Money is available, not for all the kids but for many of them, for occasions like this which only reinforces the point that money is not the problem here. Its a matter of deciding what is most important and the subsequent miss allocation of funds. Another bit of good news is that three boys from our school were selected at the regional under 17 trials and are going this weekend for the national trials in Windhoek. One boy from my class who is a goalkeeper is going this weekend and will be wearing my shoes. Its the least I can do since I've scored two goals against him in weekend games. I have high hopes that our boys could be selected nationally because our region is very strong. We were second best (behind Khomas, which includes Windhoek) during Athletics and a school nearby here just won the national soccer tournament for grade 12 schools (some boys who completed grade 10 at Coblenz were on the team). You have to remember that there are only 2 million people in Namibia so making the national team is analogous to an All-State selection but the upside is much greater. Being on the All-State team might help you get a scholarship but being on the Namibian under 17 national team means competing nationally and being on the developmental radar for the professional clubs and the Brave Warriors (the Namibian national team).

Just when it seems like everything is hopeless my cynicism gets tossed on its head. Thursday during evening studies two of the boys from my class along with some others were running around outside, banging on windows and generally terrorizing the kids who were trying to do their homework. Luckily discipline of this nature isn't my responsibility, the teacher that caught them was more than happy to dish out some punishment and call in their parents for a meeting. So after I learned about the incident Friday morning at the staff meeting, the father of one of the boys gets called in and also wants to talk the class teacher. My first reaction was anxiety because I had no idea how he would react to his son being in trouble, and this kid is the worst in my class academically as well.

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We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news from the life of Brock Blackburn...

When I come to the library I usually get interrupted a lot so this time I closed the door well and didn't turn any lights so I wouldn't attract any attention... knock, knock, knock. Let me back up and start this story from the beginning. I gave a test on Thursday so like always I told all of my classes that if they didn't understand anything they should ask me to help them. Wednesday during evening studies I was working in the library re shelving books and one girl came to ask to help drawing circuits. At first nothing seemed too out of the ordinary... a bit nervous, no concrete question... all normal when working with a student individually. But then it became all too clear, she had made a 10 out of 10 on the homework... she absolutely knew how to draw a circuit and was using that as an excuse for something else. Now, on full alert I noticed that she was dressed nicer than usual. I didn't let on to my awareness of the situation, I just had her practice drawing a couple circuits, told her she seemed to understand well enough for the test tomorrow and dismissed her from the library. I'm hoping that this monster won't develop any further, but cautious of the ensuing weekend. Friday afternoon, once most of the kids had left for the out weekend I made my way to the library to relax with a nice computer game when... knock, knock, knock. Sir can I have a babysitter? What? What do you want? A babysitter? Oh, a book... babysitter's club. During the circuit drawing practice I had eased out of the situation by commenting on the Babysitter's Club book she had as I dismissed her from the library. Sure, here's a book; have a nice weekend. That's twice she's come to the library. And now we get to this breaking story. This evening she comes knocking, dressed well again, without any excuse. No homework, no books, just a request to come inside and ask me a question, no lets just stay at the door, what do you need? Sir are you married? No, I'm way too young to be married. But, do you have a girlfriend? Oh, yes I have a girlfriend back in America. You can see how quickly this has gotten completely inappropriate, yet its not time to be rude but to give her the chance to save face and stop her advances. I'm going to hope that this was only a misguided offer for domestic help since more than one girl has offered to help me clean my clothes and my house. Soon I'll be able to laugh about this story, but for now its still a dangerous situation and I'm questioning every word and every action to make sure I don't send any signal of hope but only concrete wall of no opportunity to be a part of my life outside the classroom. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

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Turns out the father wants to see the report from the first term and just asks a lot of rhetorical questions about how a kid could perform so poorly, have so little motivation, such weak English skills. I was braced for a tirade and got a confused, concerned parent. How refreshing to talk (mostly listen) with a parent that actually attended this school and now speaks better English than most of the teachers here and has a job in Oshakati, a city in the North. I don't know what came of the meeting, I doubt the academic side can improve enough to make a real difference but maybe this is a turning point for this boy. And if I'm really lucky he'll be a positive influence on the others instead of dragging several others down to his level.