Bugs
Some things are avoidable, spiders and mosquitoes are not. My house
policy on spiders hasn't come back from the lawyers yet, but I have
already begun using the new legislation. All wall spiders must obtain
a permit and observe a few simple rules. A spider cannot be larger
than two inches across and must remain above 8 feet from the ground.
Also, no more than two spiders will be issued permits to stay in a
single room. Spiders found in violation of this policy will be evicted
immediately except for the enormous one that seems to be living
underneath my refrigerator. Mosquitoes are not allowed in my house
under any circumstances, I keep my windows closed and sleep under a
net not so much because I don't want to get bit, that happens enough
when I'm not at home, but I can't stand the sound of a mosquito
buzzing in my ear when I'm trying to work or especially when I want to
go to sleep. Last night for example I sustained approximately ten
bites on both ankles when I was in the library but I slept great once
I got home underneath my net.
posted by Brock Blackburn at 11:45 AM
3 Comments:
Upon further review the count on mosquito bites has been increased to 70+, at least ten on each foot, each ankle, my back, right thigh, right calf and the worst ones are on my wrists and forearms. If I'm going to take anti-malaria pills I may as well use them right? I did apply bug spray this evening.
I hear that the spiders have been rioting. Insisting that they should be able to stay in Brock's house since they are "workers" and not merely "biters".
A guest worker program is probably the reasonable compromise, however its not fair to those spiders who followed the rules in the first place to offer the same advantages to illegal arachnids, besides most of the wall spiders are lazy anyway, they don't work hard enough to justify their residence. I've also heard that a junior senator from one of the border states is ready to introduce a bill that establishes some pretty tough zoning requirements that would exclude spiders from premium real estate including the closet and all kitchen cupboards.
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