Vacation

I've been on vacation for a week now and it has been very nice. You might have noticed that I have lost the ability to think of synonyms for 'nice' so it is what it is. Right after I posted on my blog last week the headache I had been dealing with moved into my left ear. After a sleepless night I went to the doctor to confirm my ear infection and get some antibiotics to deal with the condition. Since I was sick I decided not to go back to Coblenz and join an impromtu trip to Etosha. I enjoyed a couple nights of sleeping in the car, and we saw a whole bunch of wildlife: springbok, oryx, wildebeast, giraffe, elephant, hartebeast, warthog, zebra, jackal, a variety of birds and reptiles, and the elusive lion. We staked out a watering hole where lions had been spotted and watched a large male lion for a while and then on our way out of the park we had to stop to let two mating lions cross the road right in front of us. After Etosha we hit up the Cheetah Conservation Fund ( www.cheetah.com) which manages the largest wild population of cheetahs in the world and squeezed in a day trip to Waterberg Plateau Park.

 

This morning I went back to the doctor since my ears never cleared up. I gave him the rundown of my condition, he looked in my ears and yes... they are still a bit red. But... that's strange... it looks like something foreign is in here... it kind of looks like an insect. At this point I see the doctor messing around with a multi-tool, shaping a paperclip to try to hook this foreign object in my ear. The first attempt hurt pretty bad, but I figure this guy knows what he's doing and I'd love to get me ear cleared out. Second try hurt worse and... thats a blood blister and its bleeding a bit now... you can stand up now. So the doctor gave me some more antibiotics and painkillers as well as something to clear out the eustachian tubes, but what about that blister. I asked him about it more and he said that there is a virus that can cause blisters, but not blood blisters. Now I've left the clinic without much confidence in a doctor who doesn't know why I might have a blood blister in my ear and didn't give me any medication to deal with it. My next move is to call the peace corps medical officer and a possible trip to windhoek to see a doctor there. First I need to pop a couple of those painkillers.

Cool Hand Luke

August 15 - I don't really remember it well but on a family vacation when I was pretty young we went to Let's Make a Deal... the interactive game show with the three curtains, two bad things and one good. The trick they never tell you is that you should always switch which curtain you want. Lets see what's behind curtain number one... Congratulations, your grade 10 learners finished their second term exam, but the average grade was a 27 and the mean was a 22. Yes that is a percent, scores out of 100 and yes that is a failing grade. I had 22 out of 66 pass this exam (with an F or better) and only 5 that made a D or better that will actually get them into grade 11 next year. Wow, good thing you didn't choose door curtain number one. You want to see curtain two, eh? Umm... are you sure? Ok, behind curtain two we find that a grade 8 girl has been pregnant all year long and gave birth in the hostel late Saturday night. She had been told not to come back to school, but in the absence of follow-up on that instruction she had the baby, put it in a plastic sack and was driven home the next morning by the hostel superintendent. No, the baby is not all right and no, nobody cried about it. At least not that I witnessed and nothing was said about it to the kids. The announcement to the teachers about the situation was a brief mention at the morning faculty meeting. I was told that she carried the baby full term so she probably got pregnant over the Christmas holiday. Surely curtain three has something better. Well, maybe not. But we have to check it anyway, rules must be followed. Wait, I'm not sure there are any enforceable rules or policies so we don't need to see that after arranging for a government bus to take our grade 7 kids on an educational tour, our bus was taken away one week before the tour was supposed to leave. We phoned everybody in the government, private companies, and even went to town to talk to the guy at the government garage in Grootfontein to no avail. But we didn't look behind that curtain. All we know is that the kids are gone for the holiday, my marking is completed and figuring grades won't take more than an hour tomorrow morning. The tour will hopefully go at the beginning of September if we can get special permission to make up the school days on Saturdays (just for the grade 7 kids) and I'm working on some last minute plans to get out of town for a few days.

 

August 17 – What we have here... is a failure... to communicate. Strangely enough the line that jumps out of Cool Hand Luke the movie doesn't appear in the book. This is the best summary of the second term I have come up with. Firstly I haven't had Internet access since June, I haven't been able to communicate with anyone with any regularity. Besides that my phone has been mostly out of order for the better part of a month. We could also talk about the language difficulties that are a daily struggle. The first sentence in the Ministry's summary of the results of last year's physical science exam was that the kids clearly had difficulty understanding the questions because of the language, not the science. Everyone knows that the language is the single most important issue if this school is ever going to improve, yet nobody is willing to do anything about it. I have never walked up to two teachers having a conversation in English. Every time I start a conversation in English with a group of teachers we don't get past three sentences before the conversation is back to Otjiherero for good. Its no wonder the kids can't speak or read English when the teachers refuse to do so. Interestingly there was an editorial in the government newspaper arguing that local languages are just as good, but the real question isn't one of value. No language is more valuable than another but some are more useful. Useful for education because of the availability of text books, useful for business because more people know the language, not more valuable, just more useful. Unless you can't speak or read the language.

 

But the most bizarre thing to happen today is that the Jon Benet Ramsey case is finally going to be resolved. After a botched investigation, a couple TV movies and a decade they arrested a guy in Thailand of all places. This is my unfortunate way of ending on good news, the fact that I heard about this story reveals that since the kids have gone home I can watch the world news that comes on during lunch time.

Examination Blues

7 August – I don't like babysitting 15-18 year old ninth graders while they're supposed to be studying for exams. That said, I am doing better than last week. A few boys from my class are becoming regulars on the stoop outside my classroom because they disturb everyone else inside. I have some reservations about kicking kids out, but the best thing is that it tacitly informs the other teachers as to the kids that are causing problems in my class so when two of them decide to fight one morning the other teachers are prepared to back me up and generally take over the disciplinary process. I don't think we have a disciplinary process, maybe we should work on that. Once a few get booted from class the rest of the day is relatively peaceful, some kids study, some kids sleep, but either way they stay quiet enough that I can mark tests or read. And I'm not fuming at the end of the day. Today grade 9 wrote my exam and I'm hoping to get it marked and have their grades figured by Thursday when the grade 10 kids write physical science. That one will be interesting because it is on par with the exam they have at the end of the year, and it is the same test that five other schools will write. If I'm lucky I'll be able to get some simple statistics from the other teachers to compare with the scores my students get. I have forgone the use of Excel to figure grades this term. Doing the addition in my head helps me stay sharp and figuring averages and drawing graphs to see the grade distribution gives me something to do while I sit with the kids during their study times. Without having to plan lessons I get to insert other activities in my schedule but I can only read for so long before I feel like doing something else.

10 August – Good news and bad news. The three boys that went for the tryouts for the national under 17 soccer team? Out of over 200 boys they pared it down to 30 and all three of ours were selected. Our little rural school represents 10% of the remaining players. The boy from my class is one of three goalkeepers left. From what I've heard if the U/17 goes abroad for a tournament they take 25 kids so you can't imagine that all three of ours would get cut at that point and for a single match they take 18, but you have to have two goalkeepers so the boy from my class would likely be included on such a trip. I can't claim to have contributed anything to their success but I still get to enjoy it. And the bad news... The 26th of August is a national holiday, Heroes Day, and there is some big celebration in Katima this year. That means that all of the government buses will be taking people deep into the Caprivi Strip (Katima is the last stop on the way to Vic Falls) so we can't have the bus we were promised to go on our tour. The worst is that didn't realize the conflict until late this week leaving us with a bunch of 7th graders excited about a trip that is completely arranged but no way to get out of the village. This week I worked with the cream of the 7th grade to help them come up with questions to ask when we visit the Parliament. I already planned in my head to buy a few bars of soap and some extra deodorant to make sure the boys didn't stink to high heaven during the long bus rides. And now we may not be able to go. The teacher organizing the tour was making calls and sending faxes hoping to find an alternative source of transportation but its not looking good considering our tight budget.

And I'm not sure if this is good or bad but two boys from my register class won't be back next term. All year these two have caused problems in all of their subjects. Neither one performs well academically and both have been in trouble on various occasions (these are the two that got in big trouble for disturbing study time). Once exams started they were disturbing my class enough that I kicked them out a couple times, then on Friday morning after they had arrived to school late these two decided to start fighting each other in class. My patience had long been exhausted so I marched them out of class over to three male teachers who were outside chatting. Their collective patience had also been exhausted so the boys were told to go for the weekend and not come back without their parents. They were not allowed to write the examinations until their parents had been to the school for a meeting. This much took the better part of a week and when the parents finally arrived the decision was passed down that these two boys would not be allowed to return to the school next term, but that they could come at the end of the year to write the examinations. Naturally, its not the best situation but my conclusion is that its best for everyone. The other kids have suffered long enough dealing with classmates that habitually cause problems and the two boys are just wasting time at school. They may as well be at the farm working, learning some trade or skill that can help them in life because formal education isn't the right fit. The other conclusion I drew from this situation is that the other teachers are very supportive of me, understanding that I didn't come this far to put up with this kind of behaviour. On the heels of this incident, another boy in my class that has caused different sorts of trouble for a variety of teachers decided to ramp up his disrespectful attitude. He is one with a great deal of potential that I have talked to several times to try to prod him towards some measure of maturity. His promises to improve his behaviour have been empty though. Every day this week the class writes an exam before break, which is at 10am. Every day this boy finishes his exam quickly, sits for a few minutes, gets an uncomfortable (read: pathetic) expression on his face and asks to go to the toilet. Everybody knows that I'm going to turn down such a request, especially during an examination and particularly when break is only a half hour away. Nevertheless, this brat (I apologize, but it had to be said) was undeterred. He asked to go to the toilet Monday and I said no. He asked to go the toilet Tuesday and I said no. Now, if I was more perceptive I would have sent him out of the class before the exam to nip this one in the bud, but these are ninth graders, they should be able to take care of themselves a little bit. And besides, no one else was having any urinary difficulties associated with break being moved back 30 minutes during the examinations. He asked to go the toilet Wednesday and I said no. The discomfort grew, the face more contorted and more pathetic, squirming ensued. He asks again if he can go to the toilet and I say no again. A couple minutes later the little (he is one of the two noticeably shorter boys in the class) brat stands up defiantly and heads for the door. I knew this was a possibility so I was prepared, I calmly told him to go relieve himself and then go to the office. Of course he didn't go, but later that afternoon once I involved a few other teacher that have disciplined him before he found his way to the office and had to face the music. I sense in my recounting of this story a tinge of triumph. That's probably accurate, this kid is wasting so much potential it drives me crazy but his defiant attitude is so obnoxious that its nice to see him castigated by a posse of teachers. His parents have actually refused to come to the school on another occasion when his 4th grade brother was causing problems for the Head of the Primary phase so we'll see what comes of it.

I think I should end on something good, but sitting here I'm struggling to come up with anything noteworthy besides me skipping school on Friday (today) to go to town early in the morning. I should be going to a wedding tomorrow, but it probably won't be that much fun and it just reminds me that I missed a wedding in Tulsa last weekend and another in Wichita tomorrow. We don't have a principal right now, her husband is a diabetic that is on dialysis to mitigate kidney failure. I heard he has rejected the idea of a transplant because he's old and has been sick for a while. I now get excited when any tests I grade are above 50%, I had 3 grade 9 kids make above 70% for the term. And I think my exam was a bit too easy. I do think that part of the problem with the lack of academic motivation here is the lack of meaningful feedback. Some still don't care but several that are in the borderline group studied hard after I revealed their pre-exam grades and improved significantly. One boy with a G (between 20% and 30%) for the term pre-exam made a C (60% range) on the exam. I started marking the grade 10 exam and the better class only answer 40% of the multiple choice correctly. After marking first term exams I bought myself a nicer red pen, it gets used extensively. Out of 125 grade 9 exams with 3 pages of multiple choice I had 2 perfect pages. That is 2 out of 375. I think I found the good note to end on. The boy that had a G and made a C on the exam is one that at the beginning of this term started hanging around with the two big troublemakers. About a month ago I started focusing on him more, talking to him and not cutting him any slack for misbehaving. He isn't all the way there yet, but he made an obvious decision that he didn't want to face more punishment and be excluded from the rewards I arranged for the kids with good behaviour. Hopefully this change will continue next term and without the bad influences around he will keep improving. There are a lot of things around here that I can't change, some kids will remain defiant, some adults stubborn and deep in a rut, but there are some kids that come to my class to learn physical science that will hopefully learn a little bit more than just science. Whether they like it or not.

July rantings

July 21 - During training we had sessions on coping strategies, even during staging in Philadelphia we discussed the topic in great length. Clearly Peace Corps realizes that many people terminate their service early (ET) so we have to talk about how we're going do deal with discouragement and frustration. My coping strategy? Usually I try not to think about whatever has gone wrong and focus back towards the positive events that accompanied the negative. So that is what I intend to do now.

A school should be an incubator for young minds to develop, to question, to reason and discover the world as told by textbooks. This school is more of a gauntlet. Instead of a conducive environment where learning is the de facto activity, kids here have to fight for the chance to learn. But what is the root of the problem? What needs to happen to make the school more successful? Its not money. We don't have enough paper, the kids don't have pens, the classes don't have enough desks and chairs but that is not the problem. (Side note: per the evening news...a school in Namibia recently received a donation of a copy machine...the problem? They don't have electricity) Things can get done given enough time and a measure of initiative; case in point: the lights at the school have been in dismal condition all year until this weekend when they were all fixed. Why did they finally get fixed? Someone made the calls and got it done, the government spends enough on the schools that when things are arranged they will get done eventually. Kids don't have pens but they are adept at sharing what they have, besides that they have pocket money after every out-weekend that could buy a pen but an extra cake during break is always the priority. Desks and chairs would be nice but you can sit in the window sill and enough kids forget to bring their books to class that there are enough desks for the ones who use them. Can I add that having natural light in the classroom is wonderful, forget that its essential because its just nice to have sunlight in the classroom. Back on point, the problem isn't money. All the teachers got a significant raise this year. The unfortunate thing is that everyone is too short-sighted to realize that instead of a raise for everyone (even the unqualified teachers) that money could have been spent to hire an extra teacher at the school and reduce everyone's workload. But Nantu, the teacher's union, isn't concerned with workload because no one does their work anyway... now I'm getting ahead of myself. The negotiations for higher salaries and more benefits are nice, but you also have to consider that teachers are already significantly better off than the average citizen of Namibia. Last year the staff took a trip to Victoria Falls, this year they want to go to Cape Town. Several of the teachers have satellite television at a monthly cost around $70US. And they complain about contributing $5US to have a farewell party for a retiring cleaner who has served the school for more than a decade. They complain about contributing to anything however small the contribution or significant the occasion. These that are clearly the middle class of Namibia have become stingy. Where did we start here? Searching for the root of this incubator turned gauntlet. Its not apartheid. This is where I probably get myself in trouble, but the difficulties we face now cannot be blamed on the old system even if the residue is still apparent from time to time. Some schools do better than others including the formally white schools whose student populations are now predominantly black. Then lets blame the Germans and the atrocities they committed a century ago. But really, what will reparations do? And if you ask me it should be alimony, not reparations. What about the fact that many of the teachers send their young children to go to school in towns and stay in the hostels there. If this school isn't good enough for the teachers' kids, is it good enough for the teachers? Whose fault is that? This is the question that continues to plague us. What else could be the source of the languishing school and its undereducated graduates. Lets blame English. Why not? Language is a magnificent challenge facing all of the learners. They can barely speak it, struggle to read it and all of their tests are written in it. Its a feat to develop questions that test knowledge of science and not proficiency in English. Forget schools in towns for now, some rural schools have achieved far greater levels of English than this one. At what cost? Not having a library, although the layout of our makes the television the focal point. Not having computers. Having an ethnically diverse staff, especially management, that makes English the common linguistic denominator for teachers and learners alike. Our fall man eludes us, though by accusing so many our mediocrity, no underachievement, already seems somehow justified. Forget about it. Who cares who's to blame. Lets just try to make the school better. Why not just take a bunch of pills and hope one of them does the trick? No we need a diagnosis. A school is floundering and we must know why. Let's forget about improvement and uncover the cancer that's eating it away from the inside. The answer is already evident. Though I don't fancy myself a novelist, my writing style today reveals that I have been reading Salman Rushdie. There's your answer. Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children which I recommend along with everything else he wrote. How is that the answer you ask? Its not the obvious one, it would help if the kids (or the teachers) could read a real book in English but lets be honest, how many school age kids read a lot these days? The problem is twofold, first let me point out that I was referred to this book by a friend who had already read it. A major part of my education in its formal and now perpetual form is the presence of other people that are learning. If somebody else has read Midnight's Children then I want to also. You could call it competition, maybe its just encouragement, but one thing I learned in college is that even if you're not studying with another person, it helps to study next to someone else who is studying. The proportion of kids in grade 9 right now that will succeed academically is so low that every borderline student is dragged into the abyss of failure. And not dragged as much as they see the well travelled road of not doing homework and not attending studies as more agreeable than the uncertain bridge out of Coblenz to the 11th grade. We finally have a excuse for the lackluster exam results, lets pack it up and braai some meat and drink some beers. Oh, this monster has two heads. And we've only vanquished the lesser head that feeds off the regurgitated delicacies the premier head enjoys. I took one business class in college and learned that people are not motivated by money. Back on the money won't fix the problem bit right? Actually yes, the teachers got a raise and for a week vowed to work harder. You can guess what happened during the next week. Teachers bellyache for a raise to help pay off the debts they have incurred and never seem to find time to improve the level of their instruction. Hold on... you said they have debt, the debt is the problem. If these companies from South Africa wouldn't offer such nice stuff with easy credit then we wouldn't have to worry about the collection agency calling and we would teach better. Eerily reminiscent of the situation a century ago, but not convincing. The absenteeism of teachers is the single biggest problem facing this school. What about Rushdie? We're getting there, just hang on a minute. And the issue isn't teachers missing entire days of school, although that is a problem, its teachers that don't teach during the periods allotted to their subject. Teachers at school will leave kids in the class with only a threat that they'd better stay inside and quiet or be punished (read: beaten). How can anyone expect children to learn without structure and guidance? Of course they are dependent on their teacher, these are kids we're talking about. Some of them can legally buy alcohol and vote, but lets be realistic. Kids want to have fun and will only learn if it is fun or you make them. Both scenarios are necessary and important. What isn't surprising is that left to their own devices kids get bored and cause trouble, I'm not talking Lord of the Flies but we've all got a destructive streak that finds its way out in idleness. During class time teachers hold formal meetings, hang around the office, stand outside, do puzzles in magazines, and any number of other things completely inappropriate for a professional teacher. Everybody has bad days, we're all tired sometimes; yet, there is a difference between an anomaly and a habit. When school is from 7am to 1pm how hard is it to take an hour for lunch and return for afternoon study time? I wish the teachers would because the students have a hard time understanding why study time is so important when their teachers don't place any value on the endeavour. A crusade to get teachers to sit with their register classes during afternoon studies would wonderful and misguided though. If a teacher isn't willing to put in full effort during school hours, nothing after lunch has a chance of getting enough attention. And attention is what kids need, they crave it and get in trouble just to bask in the limelight. So coming back to Rushdie, if our gauntlet was an incubator kids would learn to write (among other things) well enough to develop their own style that can be influenced by a master like Rushdie. When teachers are at work and working, their pupils emulate them in their attitude toward work and academically. A learner can synthesize the variety of influences from different teachers and come out with a blend that is unique and mature.

Now what about that coping strategy? Focus on the positive things, right, I've got my rant out there and now need to look towards more encouraging happenings. I really like some of the kids in grade 9. In general the classes in the lower grades lack the critical mass of serious students but looking at the top students in grade 9, once they are all together in the same class they could do very well. I can count up at least 20 that show a lot of potential and should have no trouble passing their grade 10 exams. The grade 7 kids are going to go on an educational tour during the coming term break. I will accompany them as we travel a couple thousand kilometers to see Windhoek, the Hardap Dam (largest in Namibia), and the Fish River Canyon (second largest in the world?) in the span of a week. I'm sure the kids will get annoying more than once and I'll be glad when the tour is over but I am looking forward the experience. I haven't been south of Windhoek yet so I'll get to see the other half of Namibia and the best thing is that another teacher did nearly all the work to organize the tour. I helped write some letters and encourage continued progress in arranging transportation and accommodation but none of the essential phone calls or decision making came from my side. I've also got one girl doing some work for me to earn the money to go on the tour. The kids have to contribute $300 to pay for the bus and the food for the week. That is twice the amount of school fees for the year. Money is available, not for all the kids but for many of them, for occasions like this which only reinforces the point that money is not the problem here. Its a matter of deciding what is most important and the subsequent miss allocation of funds. Another bit of good news is that three boys from our school were selected at the regional under 17 trials and are going this weekend for the national trials in Windhoek. One boy from my class who is a goalkeeper is going this weekend and will be wearing my shoes. Its the least I can do since I've scored two goals against him in weekend games. I have high hopes that our boys could be selected nationally because our region is very strong. We were second best (behind Khomas, which includes Windhoek) during Athletics and a school nearby here just won the national soccer tournament for grade 12 schools (some boys who completed grade 10 at Coblenz were on the team). You have to remember that there are only 2 million people in Namibia so making the national team is analogous to an All-State selection but the upside is much greater. Being on the All-State team might help you get a scholarship but being on the Namibian under 17 national team means competing nationally and being on the developmental radar for the professional clubs and the Brave Warriors (the Namibian national team).

Just when it seems like everything is hopeless my cynicism gets tossed on its head. Thursday during evening studies two of the boys from my class along with some others were running around outside, banging on windows and generally terrorizing the kids who were trying to do their homework. Luckily discipline of this nature isn't my responsibility, the teacher that caught them was more than happy to dish out some punishment and call in their parents for a meeting. So after I learned about the incident Friday morning at the staff meeting, the father of one of the boys gets called in and also wants to talk the class teacher. My first reaction was anxiety because I had no idea how he would react to his son being in trouble, and this kid is the worst in my class academically as well.

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We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news from the life of Brock Blackburn...

When I come to the library I usually get interrupted a lot so this time I closed the door well and didn't turn any lights so I wouldn't attract any attention... knock, knock, knock. Let me back up and start this story from the beginning. I gave a test on Thursday so like always I told all of my classes that if they didn't understand anything they should ask me to help them. Wednesday during evening studies I was working in the library re shelving books and one girl came to ask to help drawing circuits. At first nothing seemed too out of the ordinary... a bit nervous, no concrete question... all normal when working with a student individually. But then it became all too clear, she had made a 10 out of 10 on the homework... she absolutely knew how to draw a circuit and was using that as an excuse for something else. Now, on full alert I noticed that she was dressed nicer than usual. I didn't let on to my awareness of the situation, I just had her practice drawing a couple circuits, told her she seemed to understand well enough for the test tomorrow and dismissed her from the library. I'm hoping that this monster won't develop any further, but cautious of the ensuing weekend. Friday afternoon, once most of the kids had left for the out weekend I made my way to the library to relax with a nice computer game when... knock, knock, knock. Sir can I have a babysitter? What? What do you want? A babysitter? Oh, a book... babysitter's club. During the circuit drawing practice I had eased out of the situation by commenting on the Babysitter's Club book she had as I dismissed her from the library. Sure, here's a book; have a nice weekend. That's twice she's come to the library. And now we get to this breaking story. This evening she comes knocking, dressed well again, without any excuse. No homework, no books, just a request to come inside and ask me a question, no lets just stay at the door, what do you need? Sir are you married? No, I'm way too young to be married. But, do you have a girlfriend? Oh, yes I have a girlfriend back in America. You can see how quickly this has gotten completely inappropriate, yet its not time to be rude but to give her the chance to save face and stop her advances. I'm going to hope that this was only a misguided offer for domestic help since more than one girl has offered to help me clean my clothes and my house. Soon I'll be able to laugh about this story, but for now its still a dangerous situation and I'm questioning every word and every action to make sure I don't send any signal of hope but only concrete wall of no opportunity to be a part of my life outside the classroom. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

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Turns out the father wants to see the report from the first term and just asks a lot of rhetorical questions about how a kid could perform so poorly, have so little motivation, such weak English skills. I was braced for a tirade and got a confused, concerned parent. How refreshing to talk (mostly listen) with a parent that actually attended this school and now speaks better English than most of the teachers here and has a job in Oshakati, a city in the North. I don't know what came of the meeting, I doubt the academic side can improve enough to make a real difference but maybe this is a turning point for this boy. And if I'm really lucky he'll be a positive influence on the others instead of dragging several others down to his level.